Just what I needed -- Linky Love

There was no plan to become an extended breastfeeder, but here we are, or here I am. Awesome Kid is 15 months and weaning is nowhere in sight. I tried to start cutting back when she made it to a year, and at least now the pump is gone, but the kid really loves her "na-na" time. I don't have the stomach to deny her the boob, especially when she obviously associates it with security and snuggles and feeling loved.
I'd been feeling frustrated with the nursing situation as of late, especially how it continues to affect my sleep. The other night I read this lovely post by Navelgazing Midwife, which struck me in exactly the place I needed to be, um, struck. Literally exactly what I needed to hear at this place in my life. Great when stuff like that falls in your lap. Or on your iPhone.

Another grand post that made it's way to me at the perfect time was from JJKidding. Husband (Still the best ever) and I are thus far pretty laid back as parents. We're not into major discipline with a 15 month old, and we let her explore and make messes as long as she's not going to hurt herself. She's a complete whirlwind that doesn't ever seem to stop moving, and we are cool with that even if it's exhausting. Anyways, there have been a few snarky comments that got back to me from judge-y family people (who don't have kids, or who haven't had young ones in over 20 years). I mostly let it roll off the back but it's nice to know other people out there have similar experiences and philosophies about parenting.

Christmas Vacation RULES.

Dude. I seriously love not having to work. This is amazing. I have been able to work out. I have played with AwesomeKid a ton - we've gone on walks, gone to the park, played chase around the house, visited Grandma and Grandpa... It is awesome. I kind of want to become a stay at home mom and spend all days like this. I could totally sign up for various baby and mommy activities that are only offered during working hours. Maybe I could start scrap booking or something crafty like that. I know eventually the novelty would wear off and it would get grueling and all, but damn this is fun right now. Too bad we need health insurance, shelter, and food. And the iPhones. I don't think our family could survive without the iPhones.

We did Christmas in the country with the in-laws this past weekend, which means AwesomeKid got to play in the hugest yard she has ever seen and walk through thousands of crackly leaves. Also, there were cows, so she go to practice saying "moo", which was very impressive to the extended family.

Christmas is now all about AwesomeKid. BestHusbandEver and I are chopped liver. No more super cool gifts for us. We live vicariously through AwesomeKid. This is not a bad thing, but we both agree that it contributes to our general sense of feeling OLD. Alas. Persevere we shall.

This is why he's the best husband ever

Look at this awesomeness.

Best bedtime surprise ever.  Ok, maybe not EVER.  But best G-rated bedtime surprise.  Definitely.  

Sunday is Funday

Cygnets at the Park
Little balls of fluff
Staying close to mom and dad
A family of swans

Nerdy Family
When baby fusses
Let her play Xbox with you
Gaming together

Dinner Tonight
Spinich lasagna
Cheesey baked melted goodness
Winter comfort food

Perspective

I think I have problems, but I don't.  Not really.  I get frustrated with my job, but I think I'd get frustrated if I had morphed into a stay at home mom after the birth of V.  I get frustrated about not having as much time to exercise or do yoga, but I am capable of making time at least a few days a week.  And seriously, those are my most pressing issues.  Other problems (The house is so so dirty! I'm so sleepy! Baby's bedtime routine cuts into possible fun evening nights out!)...  These are temporary and really not that big of a deal in the long run.

I'm really lucky actually.  I've got a beautiful family.  My husband and I fit together so well, and V is just a new extension of that amazing dynamic we have.  We don't have to stress about bills or affording good food.  We have no worries about the current mortgage crisis because we rent.  I might not have my neat little four pack abs anymore, but I'm back in the pre-pregnancy clothes and I'm pretty damn healthy, in my opinion.  

The hard times - when it seems like I really do have huge, enormous problems are at work, when it's a bad day (high school students really can be assholes sometimes), and I just think about my baby's face and I get that tightened throat feeling and the tears start to prick my eyes...  I remind myself that I CHOSE this, this working mom thing, because we did discuss it, the possibility of me staying home.  Before she was born, it seemed so logical - we like to live a certain way, and money helps with that.  Jumping back into the workforce after a few years would be hard.  There are only so many choral music positions available in our area, and I've got a pretty posh set up.  Now that I'm doing it, I miss my baby all day.  I never thought it would be so hard.

But then again, perspective.  I've had two students tell me what's going on their lives this week.  Deaths, family members who are alcoholics and addicts, and absent parents that have left them feeling abandoned...  I don't have it so bad.  My baby will be just fine in the arms of a loving daycare worker that she knows and trusts.  And I will be just fine too.  My little family will soldier on through the trials of babyhood and we will survive intact.  Just gotta keep everything in perspective.